The Parable of the Talents

I discovered something sad about myself. I can't remember ever committing to something wholeheartedly. I've committed to things but I've never committed in a way to be the absolute best. Which is ironic because I want to be the best at something. I can feel it in me, that desire to be the best. To be more than average, to do more than average and to have an exceptional life. I feel it in me. Not just the desire but the capability. This isn't some idealistic fantasy. I know I'm capable. And even with this inherent knowledge I choose to only do just enough to not be average which has landed me exactly where I don't want to be, AVERAGE. And worse yet, If you scale my accomplishments I'm less than average.
My fear is that what I beleive I'm capable of isn't enough to ever be great. But I know now that I use that fear to be less because it's easier than committing to something and being MORE.
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the "The Parable of the Talents". God gave talents to everyone. Some received as few as one talent and others may have received many. There was a man who received one talent and he didn't want to waste it so he buried it to keep it safe. And later when confronted by God, proud of his thoughtfulness explained his rationale to keep the talent safe not realizing that by burying his talent he'd forsaken God. His one talent was just as critical to be developed and shared as the man with many talents. And by burying the talent it was a loss to the world.
My prayer is that this journey will expose me. To myself. And if I'm going to learn. If I'm going to discover. I'll have to committ fully - with every thing I own and everything inside of me. I have to. Or I will have wasted my life.