It dawned on me...

I've never actually said what I am going to do have I?  Well here it goes.  I am going to give up a 12 year career making a six figure salary so that I can buy a 1 way ticket out of the country (to Italy) without a plan...  Tada!!  Yeah, crazy, I know.  And what's scary is that this really is the entire plan.  There is no catch at the broke end of this tunnel.  This is it.  This is all. 
The best part (wait for it) is that to fund this little adventure I need to give up my fabulous apartment (which houses ALL my shoes) and live with my mom (love you Mom!) for the next 10-12 months so that I can pay off my debt and save money.    sigh...

But (yes there is a "but"), to my benefit, I am a planner by nature, so, while I have no foresight into my future beyond the potential of a life in a beautiful country, I can at least make the process of getting (and landing) there as smooth as possible. 

So I created a checklist:

• Live in Italy (stop---you can't stay for more than 90 days- shit...) OK, let's start over...
• Find a job (that failed; there are no jobs for ex-pats in Italy; only shopping)
• Find a job (OK, i can teach English)
• Learn how to teach English - no seriously:  TEFL
• Get a Work Visa (hahahahahaha...)
• Find a place to sleep - http://www.easystanza.it/
• Learn Italian - (good luck with that one...) 

That is as far as I got.  Sad I know but I'm trying to build this checklist but I'm jumping through the four quadrants of ignorance here (strangely known as the Four Quadrants of Knowledge - seriously, it is). 

1. What I know  - which is nothing
2. What I know I don't know  - which is allot
3. What I don't know I know - which is that rare common sense thing
4. What I don't know, I don't know   -  this one is just cruel...

So, to keep myself from spinning (out of control) I've decided to settle the planning process into two areas "what I can control" and "to hell with everything else".  And, in order to get through this without alcohol, I'm splitting my mind into two areas as well, "obsessive planning" and "it will all work out". 
We'll see how that works out. 

What am I doing now, you ask?  Well, I've decided to work on the following (3) things; Learning Italian, Saving Money, Settling Debts.  So far I'm doing great!  Molto Bene!!  Sono impressionanti!! 

OK, OK, with all of this being said (and done), I have to say...  I am excited. 
Keeping it real, I believe that action causes re-action.  Since I've made this decision I've been meeting people who've done what I am going to do.  I have friends who've started catering to my goals; sharing information, sharing opportunities and giving me support and love. 

But most importantly, I've noticed that I'm different.  Focused.  Ironically, I feel like I'm settling into a life.  I rarely feel settled because I always feel restless about my life, my future and living to my potential.

It's dawned on me that maybe unsettling my life is what I need to find my place in it.